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Throughout my childhood, the holiday season was a welcome one. Thanksgiving and Christmas meant quality time with family. We prepared our best dishes to share. We put little differences aside to tell stories and play games. We showed love to one another through thoughtful gestures and kind words. They weren’t perfect, but they were always more joyful than difficult. In 2003, when two of my brothers died by suicide, the holidays changed dramatically. The approaching season left me flooded with emotions that were hard to manage. I dreaded seeing my family – the once joyful holiday season had transformed to an immensely painful one. I had no idea how to act. Are we going to carry on as